March 23, 2012

Peace Out Army!

Well it's official. . .I am out of the Army! This morning I did the last bit of admin that needed to be taken care of and I got my Certificate of Release from Active Duty. It was kind of anti-climatic though. I was telling my sister about and and she said I should have asked, "so where's the marching band?" but no band, no balloons and confetti from the ceiling, not even a fancy certificate like I've seen before. Just a few pieces of paper and a DOD civilian telling me "ok Ma'am, you're all done" as if I just finished getting my oil changed. But that's ok, fanfare or not, I'm pretty excited. I left post and went to pick up Finley from his last day of daycare. The ladies there are much more upset to see him go than the Army is to see me leave.

So here I am. . . officially entering Stay-At-Home-Mommyhood. We are having a little dinner party with some friends tomorrow for my "Retirement Party." Miles said he's going to get me crocs and an apron. He's too kind. I'm certainly looking forward to it though and to this new chapter in our lives.

Peace Out Army. . . it's been real!
Don't want to lose this!

Last picture with Mommy in uniform!

March 17, 2012

O'Finley McFinnegan

Miles is in Savannah for the weekend for a friends' bachelor party. That's right - A bachelor party in Savannah over St. Patrick's day weekend. Hmmm. Wonder what kind of shape his liver will be in come tomorrow.

So with Dadda out intoxicating himself having fun, Mr. Finn and I got together with a friend of mine and ran the St. Patty's day 5K put on by Big Dog running company here in Columbus. It was a really fun event and a really good turn out. The course went throughout the downtown area and along the river and finished in the center of downtown where a live band played and lots of people were gathered for drinks, dinner, and some fun.

Hope you all had a good St. Patrick's day!

March 11, 2012


Compassion is seriously under-rated. This world would be a better place if we were all a little more compassionate with one another. My world has been a better place because of the compassion that people have shown me. Not just since losing Cale, but that has certainly highlighted it.

Just this past week I received two books in the mail from two kind friends. One is a children's story entitled Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You. It's a sweet story about a parent's love for their children and how it's the greatest gift we give them. My friend Erica said that when she saw it, she thought of Cale. One one page, it reads, "You are my angel, my darling, my star. . . and my love will find you, wherever you are."

Yes, it will. That's something that death cannot change. My love for him is and always will be present, even if he is not. And I hope that he can still feel my love. I'd like to think he can.

The other book I got was from my friend Elizabeth. She had read Heaven is for Real and also thought of Cale as in the book, there is a chapter in which the little boy describes his sister he met in Heaven who his parents had miscarried and he never knew about. Reading about a child's perspective of Heaven is really sweet. I often envision what it's like for Cale. I truly believe that his Uncle Daren is looking after him now. Miles once had a dream about it. It was almost a year ago, probably close to around the time when Daren was killed. He said in his dream Daren was playing with some blocks and Cale was sitting up playing with him and they were both smiling. I've never had a dream about Cale, although I've wished so badly that I would, but I have such an easy time envisioning Miles' dream. I'd like to think it was more than a dream. Whatever the case, I'm glad he had it.

I'm so grateful for the friendships and the people that continue to show compassion towards us despite Finley's safe arrival into the world. It's as though they really understand the gravity of our loss (both Cale and Daren) and know that our happiness because of Finley, or any of the numerous reasons to be happy, doesn't change our grief for what we have lost.

March 9, 2012

Baby's Best Friend

We have a video I should post of when Roscoe met Finley for the first time. He (Roscoe) stayed at some of our friends while we were in the hospital and came back after we had a chance to get home and get a little settled. Finley was asleep in the little lamb bouncer/chair and Miles held Roscoe by the collar as he walked him up to meet baby brother. I thought that Roscoe would be more curious, but he just went up to him, sniffed him and then walked away totally unfazed as if he already knew Finley. It was if he was saying, "yeah I know this guy - I've known him for the last nine months. No big deal."

And that's what it's been ever since - no big deal. Finley now crawls all over him, pulls at his ear, grabs his paws, follows him around, etc and Roscoe is just as patient and loyal as ever. Every baby needs a Roscoe.