May 14, 2013

Cale's Garden: Georgia

I briefly thought about writing a post on/about Mother's Day, but there's not much to say. It's still a hard day. Even with the greatest almost-two-year-old in the world, it's still just hard. A lot of people recognized that and I appreciate it. A lot of people wished me a Happy Mother's Day, and I do genuinely appreciate that. But when your heart is especially heavy and you're missing the boy who made you a mom, it is hard to keep hearing Happy Mother's Day, Happy Day, Happy! It's just hard, that's all. Maybe you read this already, but if not it's worth the read:  In Case Mother's Day is Hard for you.

After Cale died we decided that we would make a little garden in our backyard in his memory. I don't really know where the idea came from, but I think the seed was planted when we received this thoughtful gift from my friend Danielle soon after Cale's passing:

Where does one put such a lovely stone? Well, outside in a lovely garden I suppose. Only we needed to make one. Here's a picture of the area in March of 2010 (when I was 24 weeks pregnant with Cale):

Same area I had my maternity pictures taken:

We decided to plant several plants throughout the area - gardenias and black eyed Susans, and added bark for mulch, and eventually edged off the grass area with nice stones. We ordered an outdoor bench and had a plaque made to put on it:

His garden became a very lovely place for me to go and be with him. To sit and think about him and send him my love. 

But it became more than that too. I had some of Finn's maternity pictures taken there:

And some newborn shots:

And we celebrated Cale's first birthday from the garden, reading a poem a releasing balloons & butterflies:

The big tree in the garden had to get chopped down before we moved and part of it is forever with us. We have had friends and family help us add to the spot - with some beautiful stepping stones, a lantern, and a wind chime. I'll share his Texas Garden soon. It feels different and doesn't have the same history, but it is still special and still nice to have a place that belongs to him, no matter where we live.


  1. Oh how I love this. I love having a living, changing place to celebrate our babies. I love that it can be a cornerstone for your family, a safe space to go back to and a place to build memories together. The bench is a beautiful addition. I have often wished I could have a bench at Ava's tree but it could never work (public park.) Maybe one day I will create a corner for her in our garden.

  2. Reading this made me cry.
    It all still hits me so darn hard sometimes. I see you in those pictures...and it breaks my heart. And I remember that my heart is breaking for me too.
    So much so much love.

    Beautiful post Caroline

  3. I've told you this before, but I just love his garden. And I love that you have the stump from the old tree and how Cale was represented and continues to be represented in your lives. That garden in Georgia was just beautiful.

    Also, I love that you had Finn's pictures taken on the bench! And your maternity pictures. Either I forgot or never connected that you honored Cale in that way.

    So beautiful. Love it, friend. Love it.

  4. I loved the slight glimpse I got of his garden when I was there for the game! Memories, traditions and lots of love fill Cale's garden...and that bench! Cannot wait to see his Texas garden!

  5. I love that bench and the plaque. Such a lovely place for your boy, and a wonderful way to honor him, even if it looks different in Texas.