Yesterdays' Father's Day was nice and low key. Miles was the lucky recipient of a wheelbarrow this year, Finn gave some cute answers to questions about Daddy, and I made an Apple cobbler. Father's Day complete. Also, by "made" I mean bought. We did spend part of the day at the beach which was enjoyable. We drove down to Jekyll Island as the beaches there are dog friendly and we brought Roscoe along for the trip. Really the day wasn't much different than our normal weekends, maybe that will change as the kids get older, but for now Father's (and Mother's) Days are pretty uneventful.
Miles and I have talked before how Father's Day doesn't sting as much for him as Mother's Day does for me. It's still a little bittersweet, but it's just different. Of course we both think about Cale a bit more and on the way home from the beach we found ourselves talking about Cale a lot and sort of walking through details of his birthday and delivery. While doing so, we made the realization that the resident who delivered Cale is now assigned to the same unit as Miles as a family medicine Doctor. He didn't remember the name of the resident (who we literally had no encounter with other than when he came in near shift change to deliver Cale) and so he never put two and two together, that he now works with this same guy, until I mentioned his name. Miles called him to see if he did his residency in 2010 at the hospital where Cale was born, and sure enough it was him. He remembers that night, but didn't remember Miles, so he never put two and two together either. I was glad he remembered Cale's delivery, though I also would hope that he would remember it. I imagine residents going through a Labor and Delivery rotation don't deliver many stillborn babies, at least I sure hope not.
When Miles got off the phone with him I started to cry. I can't really put my finger on it, but it was just pretty heavy to realize there's a connection to Cale out there that we hadn't discovered. Miles said he is curious what their next encounter will be like as I imagine Miles' phone call caught him off guard and maybe it took him a bit to process it as well - that nearly five years ago he delivered the stillborn baby of a guy he now works with. I told Miles I would like to meet him. Most people I know have a relationship with the doctor who delivered their children, but when I was pregnant with Cale I didn't have one consistent doctor. I was seen at a small clinic until the last month of my pregnancy when my care was switched to the hospital and there I was seen by whomever was on call. The doctor who told us the horrible news that Cale had died would go on to be the same doctor I saw throughout my pregnancy and delivery of Finn. We essentially picked him because of the kinds and compassion he showed us that day. However when Cale was born it was nearly midnight (11:45pm) so a different doctor and resident were present for his delivery. And now that same resident, the person who literally was the first to hold my son, one of the few to have seen him, works with Miles. Just crazy. And a heavy realization to make only one week out from Cale's birthday when my emotions are already a little (a lot) tender.
I know these days will never be what they should, but I'm glad they can still be special (or low-key) and that we can celebrate Miles being a father because of all of his children. I wish I got to see the kind of relationship he would have had with Cale and I wish he got to hold all his kids yesterday. And while I'm so glad Finn and Mary (and Roscoe) got to love on Dadda yesterday, I couldn't help think back to the day I saw him as a father for the first time as he gently held our first born son. It confirmed what I knew all along, Miles is a wonderful dad and all my kids are so lucky to be loved by him.
|Someone didn't want to be rinsed off after the beach|