March 18, 2016

St. Patrick's Day 2016

This year for the St. Patrick's festivities Miles and I got to squeeze in a date the day prior (before downtown becomes a total zoo), we attended the parade with my dear friend Deborah and her kids who were visiting, and the weather was perfect for a parade - overcast, but very pleasant. As always the city goes a little crazy, but we managed to bring five kids (five and under) downtown and not lose any of them or lose our minds. Victory! It helped that Miles didn't have to march in this year's parade (though I was nostalgic for the tradition of getting to find your Soldier and go lay a big red smooch on him), but it was nice to have him with us as we watched the parade and corralled children. Other than Miles not marching, it was very similar to last year; we wore the same shirts, Finn included, Mary stuffed her face with food the whole time, and despite it being a good time, we were all tired and ready to go home before the parade even ended.








I know it's an Irish holiday and all, but there's something so very American about this.
Beer, Clydesdales, Baby, Parade. Merica.
Our good friend Craig marching his company in the parade.
Mary is sitting on the lap of our close friend Michelle who Mary basically prefers to anyone.


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March 10, 2016

Camping 101

Miles took Finn camping this past weekend. And by "took" I mean took him to our backyard. We figured it would be a good way to test the waters - if Finn got scared or it didn't pan out, then the living room was nice and close for an alternate campsite.

Miles set up the tent in the morning and Finn was so excited as we had been talking about it a few days prior. Due to some ran and a lingering cough Finn had we postponed a couple more days, so when the timing finally worked out he couldn't wait. He literally was so excited he couldn't nap. The only other time he skipped a nap out of impending excitement was right after he turned three and we told him we would be seeing fireworks the night of the 4th of July. 


Miles went out to the store to get a few things for a camping themed dinner and also picked up a cheap sleeping bag for Finn.  

Worth the $12!
We borrowed a fire pit from a neighbor and had some friends over for campfire hotdogs (and a salad and some other side dishes) and then we roasted s'mores. 

Finn can be picky with desserts (read, he doesn't like many! I may need to do DNA testing)
but I was happy he at least ate half his s'more. And happy I got to eat the other half.

When night came they laid mats and a blanket down, then slept in sleeping backs with another blanket on top. It did get down into the mid 40's, but they stayed warm and lasted outside all night! Mary and I slept comfortably inside in our beds.

Digger, Snuggle Monkey, and Turtle Light all joined the boys in the tent.
A check mark on the list of broken dreams
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March 4, 2016

Daren Should Be Turning 30 Today

I could have seen him having a wild and borderline crazy night tonight to celebrate his 30th. The kind full of lots of laughter and booze and stories for years to come. The types of stories we do get to remember from the almost 25 years we got with him. My sister made a comment that she "loves the memories she has of him" and I think everyone who knew he could agree with that. Daren was just fun. He was goofy and childish and thoughtful and wonderful and we just miss him.


Last night as I was snuggling with Finn we talked about how we would go out to eat for Uncle Daren's birthday. The conversation went like this:

Me: I wish you could have met Uncle Daren. I think you would have really liked him.
Finn: But I like Cale the most, I miss him.
Me: Yeah, I miss them both.
Finn: How did Uncle Daren die?
Me: Well, he was fighting bad guys and there was an explosion and he got hurt.
Finn: He got hurt and he died?
Me: That's right.
Finn: He was fighting bad guys? Is Uncle Daren a Superhero?
Me: Sort of sweetie, he's our hero.
Finn: But I should fight the bad guys because I have powers and he didn't have my powers so I should just fight the bad guys.

. . . . . . .

On the way to dinner tonight Finn said, "We should get balloons and send them up to the sky, way, way up to Uncle Daren." But lest you think he's nothing but sweet two nights ago he said, "we can make Uncle Daren a birthday pie and then eat it ALL because he died!" Miles and I couldn't stop laughing. He said it in a way to suggest that because Daren died we would all get more pie! It was so messed up, yet sorta sweet, but mostly just really, really funny.

Daren's favorite meal has been remembered to have been chicken fingers. I'm not sure if this was his favorite meal as a child, but wouldn't have been surprised if it was also a favorite into his adult years. Nonetheless, we all seem to eat chicken fingers on his birthday, drink a beer, and give him a toast. We had dinner with some good friends tonight who brought some delicious cupcakes for an after dinner birthday treat. Mary took it very seriously.






. . . . . .

Our good friend Kyle is currently teaching at West Point. Kyle, who also has a birthday today, took his four year old son out to visit Daren. He left him a beer and slice of cake (in the picture above) and sent us this video. 


Means a lot to have these friends who help remember and celebrate him. I hope he's feeling our love today on his 30th birthday.
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February 27, 2016

Race Recap: 26.2 with Donna

I was about to start off by saying how my race recaps never seem to be upbeat, but really that just seems to be the marathons. Because while this race, like the marathon last November, did not go as I had planned, I still have run races and runs that I'm proud of and happy with the results. But none-the-less, for mostly my memory's sake, here is the race recap of my 26.2 with Donna.

It's called that, 26.2 with Donna, as this race was created by a three time breast cancer survivor, Donna, who runs the full every year (or at least I think she does - she did this year anyway). The run takes place in Jacksonville, Florida and ends right at the Mayo Clinic where the proceeds of the race money go. It is the only marathon (also called "The Breast Cancer Marathon" dedicated to breast cancer research (there are many other breast cancer runs/walks/events - this is just the only one with a marathon distance involved). The run goes through beach towns where the neighbors come out in full force to support the runners and it was probably the best community supported race I've done. It has a half marathon and relay as well (all on the same route) and if we were going to be living here next year I would definitely consider running again for the 10th year as I'm sure it will be even more impressive. It's a Boston Qualifying course and was so well supported and organized.


Going in to the race I felt fairly confident. I wish I did one more long training run and I wish I stayed a little more on track with my pacing during training, but generally speaking I felt ready and optimistic I could reach my goal of a sub four hour marathon. I was planning to wake up at 5:30 the morning of the race, catch the 6:30 shuttle with my friend Julie and hang out in the warm up tents until the 7:30 start time. Well, instead of getting up at 5:30 I got up a little after 2am when Mary woke up vomiting! Miles has graciously offered to sleep in the same bed as the kids (we had two double beds in our hotel) so that I could get decent(ish) sleep, but neither of us go much sleep at all when poor Mary woke up to puke and then she only wanted to sleep next to me. She would fall back asleep and then wake up again every 20-30 minutes needing to spit up/puke. We thought at first it was something she ate and thankfully Finn was spared. 

I was able to eat a good pre race breakfast (oatmeal, peanut butter, banana) and nerves were compensating plenty for any fatigue I may have been feeling from my lack of sleep. Because my friend Julie and I wanted to use the porta-potties one last time before the race we ended up pretty far back in the corals and it was so congested trying to move forward I knew I wouldn't be able to start with the 4-hour pace group. I wasn't planning on paying much attention to the pacers anyway though as they were utilizing the Galloway method for running which is a run/walk combo and I wasn't about to try that for the first time on race day. 


When the race started I felt good. I made sure to keep my pace slow despite adrenaline wanting me to go faster and planned to keep it slower for two miles, then slowly speed up to my training run pace and hope to hold that until mile 20 and then just fight through the rest. Only a little over a mile in to the race someone grabbed me and hugged me and it was my West Point roommate Katie who I had no idea was in Jacksonville! She came down last minute to run the half with her cousin and had forgotten I was running so it was such a treat to get to see her during the run (and such a great coincidence we literally ran in to one another!) We chatted for a bit then parted ways and I just tried to focus on my training and my pace. Hindsight - I wish I didn't focus on pace so much during the first half and went off feel instead as the first 14 miles we faced a pretty strong headwind and I am sure I put forth more effort to keep my pace than I would had it not been windy. None-the-less when I got to the halfway point on track to where I wanted to be, I felt good. I saw Miles and the kids around mile 17 which was a good boost, but could tell I was starting to slow a little bit in the coming miles. I saw them again at mile 20 and was happy with my time, I knew it's where I needed and wanted to be, but I was starting to get worried about how tired I was feeling. At mile 21 I knew I needed to push to stay on track, but by 22 I ran into the dreaded "wall" and I hit it hard. Right around this time the run goes off the roads and beach towns and on to the freeway with a nasty little hill. It was the only part of the course I really despised, but I'm sure that has largely to do with how miserable I was feeling. I don't know how to describe it other than it just felt like my body quit. My legs no longer wanted to move and I was feeling nauseous and on the verge of vomiting for the remainder of the race. I saw my pace go way, way down and slowly and painfully watched my goal get further and further away.

I honestly don't know if there was one big thing that caused this (like a fueling issue) or if it was just a combination of things (waking up early, maybe starting a tad faster than I should have, putting effort in to combat wind, etc), but it was pretty defeating to be on track for so long and then to have it go so horribly wrong for the last four miles that I ended up so far from my goal (finish time ended up being 4:24 - I had a couple of 15+ minute miles in there at the end - it was bad!)

This was the last race alert Miles got for me, so when that estimated time came and went he said he started to get worried something happened and was about to check at the medical tent. I would have been worried too since I finished so much later than predicted. But I'm proud of the pace/time up to that point - if only marathons were 20 miles!

 So, for next time (and I don't know when that will be, but know that I still want to reach this goal enough that I will do another marathon at some point) I will try to pace myself a little more. I didn't think I could run the second half faster than the first half for a negative split, but I think I should focus more on attempting that versus relying on "banked time." I also think I need to take in more calories early on when my stomach can handle it a little better, and I need to no sleep in the same bed as a puking baby.

While I'm still really bummed with the end result (especially because this was supposed to be my redemption run from Rock n Roll last November), I am proud of finishing and putting another marathon in the books.

Everything hurt. Especially my pride.
The day after we came home, Miles and I caught whatever stomach bug Mary had. Because nothing is more awesome than finishing a marathon only to get the stomach flu the following day! Here's hoping for better, healthier, happier races!
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February 20, 2016

Five Years Without Daren

Five years ago today Daren was killed in action while deployed to Afghanistan. As with Cale, sometimes on these anniversaries and milestones I just don't really know what to say anymore. But it doesn't change or diminish the missing, the wondering, and the ache. It's just that what was true then, is still true now. We miss him. We love him. We wonder what he would be like and how much different all of our lives would have been these past five years if he had been a part of them the way we all wished he could have been. 

I was looking on my hard drive for a picture to share and stumbled upon some of my favorites. In typical Daren fashion they all are more of the 'outtake' variety.

My USMA graduation. 
Rock, Paper, Scissor with my sister to determine who would speak first at our wedding.
Daren's USMA graduation. With his grandparents. I love the look on Oma's face.
Fall 2009 with Roscoe

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
We did a modified version of Daren's Crossfit WOD this week with Stroller Strong Moms (we also did this last year). I was so touched by the support and grateful to share a little about Daren with others. 



Miss you, Daren. Always.
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