December 21, 2010

Rainbow Babies

Well most of my Christmas cards have hit the mail. In the next few days they'll all be delivered. And then our news is really "out" there. In our cards I included a brief explanation of what a rainbow baby is. When I first heard the term myself, I needed an explanation (in fact there are lots of terms and abbreviations that I've learned through the baby loss community - most dealing with trying to conceive so I won't get into that :) But I loved the meaning of a "Rainbow Baby" - it could not be more fitting. Rainbows appear after a storm. After something scary and dark. But they give light and beauty in the midst of that darkness.

I also want to share one of my new favorite songs. I love this song. I loved it the first time I heard it - before I really listened to the lyrics. After Cale died, I joined an online support group (more later on the amazing people I've met through that), but I found that a lot of other baby-loss-mom's really liked the song as well. For me personally, I don't listen to it and get sad. I listen to it, I think of Cale, I think of how much I love him, and that makes me happy. These are the lyrics that stand out the most to the baby-loss-momma community:

"Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She'll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
ain't even grey, but she buries her baby"

It's as if our babies are asking for a brother or sister. And it's true that when I  am holding Cale's sibling, I'll think of him. I will know he's safe and in a place where he's loved and happy all the time. And I'll know that the little miracle, the little rainbow, I'm holding is because of him. I guess that's part of what warms my heart about the song.

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