March 26, 2011

Baby Shower

A year ago today my friend Jodi threw me a baby shower. I didn't even remember the date, but was looking through pictures of my time with Cale as I often do when I'm missing him and I noticed that the baby shower fell on 3/27. It made me a little sad, but mostly just got me thinking. Thinking of how much has changed in a year when our lives are same from the outside looking in. From the outside we are still a family of two, waiting for a little boy to join us in a couple months. But from the inside we are so very changed, never to be the same again. I'll never be grateful for what happened to Cale, but rather grateful for what happened as a result of him, of the good that will (and already has) come from his time with us.

As I looked through these pictures I was reminded that Cale was loved, even before he was here. And that brings me a little comfort, especially as we draw closer to another milestone - 3/28, nine months from when Cale was born. It comforts me because I know Cale was loved every day of his life. And I know he's loved now and always will be.

Cale's brother is loved too. And it amazes me how my love for both of them is stronger because of each of them individually. If it weren't for Cale, I wouldn't have a baby kicking me as I type this. And I hope one day soon I can dress that baby in those cute clothes from my shower, or that sweet monkey towel in the picture. For now I'm grateful for the kicks I'm feeling, for the love people had for Cale, and the love that he continues to bring to his family.

1 comment:

  1. You look so happy in these pictures. A happy mama expecting her first born and so unaware of what was to come. It makes me so sad. So sad that life can change in an instant and that we can be so very changed on the inside while looking the same to the rest of the world.

    Like you, I am not thankful for what happened to Harper but thankful for the gifts that her life has brought to mine. One of those gifts is your friendship.

    Lots of love to you and your sweet boys.