March 11, 2012


Compassion is seriously under-rated. This world would be a better place if we were all a little more compassionate with one another. My world has been a better place because of the compassion that people have shown me. Not just since losing Cale, but that has certainly highlighted it.

Just this past week I received two books in the mail from two kind friends. One is a children's story entitled Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You. It's a sweet story about a parent's love for their children and how it's the greatest gift we give them. My friend Erica said that when she saw it, she thought of Cale. One one page, it reads, "You are my angel, my darling, my star. . . and my love will find you, wherever you are."

Yes, it will. That's something that death cannot change. My love for him is and always will be present, even if he is not. And I hope that he can still feel my love. I'd like to think he can.

The other book I got was from my friend Elizabeth. She had read Heaven is for Real and also thought of Cale as in the book, there is a chapter in which the little boy describes his sister he met in Heaven who his parents had miscarried and he never knew about. Reading about a child's perspective of Heaven is really sweet. I often envision what it's like for Cale. I truly believe that his Uncle Daren is looking after him now. Miles once had a dream about it. It was almost a year ago, probably close to around the time when Daren was killed. He said in his dream Daren was playing with some blocks and Cale was sitting up playing with him and they were both smiling. I've never had a dream about Cale, although I've wished so badly that I would, but I have such an easy time envisioning Miles' dream. I'd like to think it was more than a dream. Whatever the case, I'm glad he had it.

I'm so grateful for the friendships and the people that continue to show compassion towards us despite Finley's safe arrival into the world. It's as though they really understand the gravity of our loss (both Cale and Daren) and know that our happiness because of Finley, or any of the numerous reasons to be happy, doesn't change our grief for what we have lost.


  1. It's so nice that you have people who think of your sweet Cale so often. I know how much it means to have both your happiness and pain acknowledged and respected. Love goes such a long way ♥

  2. That’s what friends are for :o) Always have the Hidalgo family in my thoughts and prayers

  3. Oh my kids just love that book! (So much so that they've loved it to shreds)! So wonderful of those sweet ladies to think of you and Cale...aren't friends the best?

  4. You do have some great friends!

    I still don't understand how we can have our firstborns on our minds ALL the time and never dream of doesn't make sense! Love that Miles got to have one and that you can picture it too <3

  5. I have read both books... I read "My LOve Will Find You..." aloud at the cemetery on Christmas as I cried my eyes out. It felt so good to read it aloud and thinking Hayes could hear me.

  6. Love that, so much. :) It's amazing to have some really great friends, and so disappointing to have some less than stellar ones... bah.

    I have "my love with find you", along with a couple of Nancy Tillman's other books. Such beautiful words.

  7. I need to get that book. I've been meaning to. Such sweet friends you have. Some of my dear friends have sent me books with Julius' name in them. Compassion is definitely something this world could use much more of.