Right now things are pretty good. We are headed to Savannah soon for a wedding of some good friends - Finn's first wedding (here's hoping he behaves himself). We have been enjoying the summer weather with lots of pool days and I am busying myself with planning and prep for the cutest ever fish themed first birthday party for my sweet little baby Finn who cannot possibly turning ONE so soon! But he is. And knowing just how very special that is, I feel entitled to go a little over board . . . like turning this cute picture into a custom made stamp for his birthday invites. But that's not really over board. That's just adorable is what that is.
But stress and my crazy emotions are lurking around the corner. Like, right around the corner. Finley turns one June 13th. We move about a week later. The Army will move your stuff for you which is nice I suppose, but it already has me in a near panic attack when I think of all the horror stories from friends who have lost things and had things damaged and then had difficulty in filing the claims to fix or replace their possessions. I'm really worried about my precious dinning room set that Miles despises. Secretly, he's probably hoping it falls off the back of the truck. But I love it. Even if we only use it twice a year (if that). And even if everything arrives in one piece, where do we have it delivered? We haven't found a house yet. Oh, and speaking of houses, we are about 99% sure that we won't sell ours. Which means renters. Which isn't a big deal. . . unless of course we can't find any. But I think we will, so that fall low on my stress totem pole.
And if you do the math, moving a week after Finn's birthday means we move about a week before Cale's birthday. I'm not even sure what I'd want to do for it, but living in a hotel and out of a suitcase isn't really up there on the list. Hopefully we'll find a house - so I have a place to put my son's urn and pictures and I can at least grieve for all that should have been these last two years. And even though I'd never want to live in Georgia for the long haul, it is the place where most of my memories of Cale are. Where I learned I was pregnant, where I had my maternity pictures taken, and most importantly where I gave birth to my son and held him for too short of a time. I became a mom here. We became a family here. And leaving is going to be tough.
But in the meantime, things are good. And for that I'm thankful.