May 2, 2012

When it rains, it pours.

I had originally starting writing this post a few days ago. And it was a little too "woe is me" ish, so I am trying to revamp things a bit and put a more positive spin on things.

But sometimes that's hard to do. Sometimes, life is just hard and really, really, horribly unfair.

I say this because my dear sister-in-law Jenny was just diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Jenny is the wife of Miles' older brother Jared. You may remember me posting a blog when her son Maddox was born. You may remember it because it wasn't very long ago. Maddox is not even 4 months old. Carson, her oldest son, is 2 1/2 years. I just don't get it. I don't understand why it feels like we can never catch a break. I know this is just life and there are people far worse off then us, but in less than two years Miles and I delivered a full-term stillborn son, lost a brother in combat, my dad underwent surgery for prostate cancer (and is thankfully doing well), and now this. Now sweet Jenny has a little battle ahead of her as she will undergo chemotherapy and possibly radiation to rid this cancer from her body. Enough is enough ya know? Miles said he feels like we are the Starks (kudos to anyone equally nerdy enough to catch the reference).

But what sucks more is that life can be so cruel and so unfair and will slap you around a little bit to let you know that you aren't alone. It's not just my family that has suffered. We aren't the only ones with hurdles to overcome. It's all around. It's just . . . life. Here I was having these "why us?!" feelings, when I'm not even the one who was diagnosed. And then recently in the baby loss world, I read about a family who just lost their second child! And it all just seems like too much. Too much pain and too much heartache and it literally takes effort to put things back into perspective and yet, what choice do you have? But seriously, it gets old (and annoying) trying to constantly think "well, life could be worse". . . I get it - it could be worse. But it could be better too. And I am ready for it to be those better times.

Hopefully that won't be long from now. Jenny starts chemo next week and she is positive and optimistic (as she should be) and just ready to tackle this and move on. She views this as a bump in the road and the good news is that lymphoma is a very curable cancer. In fact, her doctor called this a very "boring" and "treatable" cancer. And she's had two natural child births, so I'm pretty sure she's going to rock chemo and just continue to be the amazing person she is. But I just wish so badly this wasn't the hand she was dealt. I wish we lived closer and she wouldn't have to worry about getting help with her kids when she is too sick to care for them or losing her hair or any of the crappy things that she's going to have to deal with in the near future.

There are some beautiful people who read this blog and are very deliberate in their prayers and thoughts. So I just ask that you please keep her in yours - it would really mean a lot.

 I took this picture this past December when Jenny was 9 months pregnant with Maddox. 
She may hate me for posting it, but I think it shows what a beautiful person and mother she is.

 

16 comments:

  1. But seriously, it gets old (and annoying) trying to constantly think "well, life could be worse". . . I get it - it could be worse. But it could be better too. And I am ready for it to be those better times. ----------- Well said Caroline. My thoughts are with you and your family. Sending strength down south to Jenny! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah...you're right, it could be worse. But seriously?! I'm tired of having to say that! I'm tired of having to think that for friends and loved ones, too. Life does just seem to "slap you around," doesn't it?

    I have a good friend who battled (and beat Hodgkins Lymphoma) a few years ago. She was actually diagnosed only a couple of years out of high school. She's now a happy and healthy mother of 2!

    I will be remembering Jenny, and the rest of the family, in my prayers!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Caroline, don’t feel guilty or bad about being upset- rightfully so, after everything your family has been through, it’s ok to have those emotions. I’ll be saying many prayers for Jenny and the whole Hidalgo family. Let me know if there’s anything you need!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Non-stop prayers continue. I wish I had more than that and a hefty sigh to offer.

    Have you heard the song "Blessings" by Laura Story? There's a line at the end that says "what if my greatest disappointments...or the aching of this life is a revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?" Senseless things like this definitely make me feel like that.

    Love to you all.

    ReplyDelete
  5. God Speed and Grace.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Not it could be worse but we are living in the "worst" when we have to walk through what people are walking through.
    I pray that those who haven't had to walk through the "worst" are very grateful for what they do have and the "good and normal" lives they are living with!
    We will be praying for Jenny and all who will surround her at this time when she will need it most!
    Fight hard Jenny, we're rooting for you and many prayers are being lifte up on your behalf!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sweet Caroline (I guarantee I'm not the first to address you that way!)...So sorry to hear this news. But, as you say, your sis is strong and ready to kick this out of the park. My husband's best friend (best man in our wedding) had the same kind of cancer, diagnosed w/ stage 2 when he was 25. It was a rough and tough battle but he's five years cancer-free now and lives an incredible life. There's no way to make this not suck, but you will get through it. Lean on those around you. Love you dear. -Jess

    ReplyDelete
  8. This reminds me of a recent post at momastery.com, about how life is "brutiful." (link: http://momastery.com/blog/2012/04/30/miracle-week/). My prayers to Jenny, and the whole family.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm so sorry to hear this news! Sending lots of good, healing wishes to Jenny. It sounds like she has a great outlook for getting through this.

    ReplyDelete
  10. When my soul is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:2

    My heart and prayers are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sometimes life is just too much and all the heartache is so hard to handle. I will certainly be praying for Jenny and your whole family. Lots of love to you always <3

    ReplyDelete
  12. you know this post has got my eyes stinging and my through closing up. You can tell what a devoted loving mother Jenny is and I am sorry to hear that she will have to struggle and fight cancer. I am glad to hear how treatable it is but I hear you on this post. When I heard the news about the mama whose rainbow baby died, it rocked my world. I just dont understand the way life is sometimes...I know it is all chance but some people go unscathed and others have to endure so much heartache. It may not be your personal battle but your sister in law is someone you love and you hurt with and for her. When I heard about the BLM and her rainbow baby dying, it terrified me and I knew it wasn't my personal reality but it scared the _______ out of me. It isn't about ME...but we put experiences in context to our lives and so with the suffering and loss your family has experienced it feels like one more blow to you. big hug to you lady and your family as you negotiate the tials ahead.

    ReplyDelete
  13. It sure feels like your family has been enduring quite the storm these last couple years and it's not fair. Your sister in law is a beautiful mother and I hope this fight is a swift one. I'm sorry she even has to endure this, especially with two small children.

    You guys are in my thoughts and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I know there's no rhyme or reason to these things, but I hate to think about what your family has had to endure these last few years. As you said, life could always be worse, but it could definitely be better, too. And I think the Hidalgos are due for some of that betterness. I'll be thinking of your sister in law and praying that she gets through this as quickly as possible.

    ReplyDelete
  15. You are so right, life can be so unfair. Praying for your sis-in-law.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Wow, life can be so unfair and cruel sometimes... I;ll be thinking of your SIL and hoping she kicks cancer's ass, and soon.

    ReplyDelete