But sometimes that's hard to do. Sometimes, life is just hard and really, really, horribly unfair.
I say this because my dear sister-in-law Jenny was just diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Jenny is the wife of Miles' older brother Jared. You may remember me posting a blog when her son Maddox was born. You may remember it because it wasn't very long ago. Maddox is not even 4 months old. Carson, her oldest son, is 2 1/2 years. I just don't get it. I don't understand why it feels like we can never catch a break. I know this is just life and there are people far worse off then us, but in less than two years Miles and I delivered a full-term stillborn son, lost a brother in combat, my dad underwent surgery for prostate cancer (and is thankfully doing well), and now this. Now sweet Jenny has a little battle ahead of her as she will undergo chemotherapy and possibly radiation to rid this cancer from her body. Enough is enough ya know? Miles said he feels like we are the Starks (kudos to anyone equally nerdy enough to catch the reference).
But what sucks more is that life can be so cruel and so unfair and will slap you around a little bit to let you know that you aren't alone. It's not just my family that has suffered. We aren't the only ones with hurdles to overcome. It's all around. It's just . . . life. Here I was having these "why us?!" feelings, when I'm not even the one who was diagnosed. And then recently in the baby loss world, I read about a family who just lost their second child! And it all just seems like too much. Too much pain and too much heartache and it literally takes effort to put things back into perspective and yet, what choice do you have? But seriously, it gets old (and annoying) trying to constantly think "well, life could be worse". . . I get it - it could be worse. But it could be better too. And I am ready for it to be those better times.
Hopefully that won't be long from now. Jenny starts chemo next week and she is positive and optimistic (as she should be) and just ready to tackle this and move on. She views this as a bump in the road and the good news is that lymphoma is a very curable cancer. In fact, her doctor called this a very "boring" and "treatable" cancer. And she's had two natural child births, so I'm pretty sure she's going to rock chemo and just continue to be the amazing person she is. But I just wish so badly this wasn't the hand she was dealt. I wish we lived closer and she wouldn't have to worry about getting help with her kids when she is too sick to care for them or losing her hair or any of the crappy things that she's going to have to deal with in the near future.
There are some beautiful people who read this blog and are very deliberate in their prayers and thoughts. So I just ask that you please keep her in yours - it would really mean a lot.
I took this picture this past December when Jenny was 9 months pregnant with Maddox.
She may hate me for posting it, but I think it shows what a beautiful person and mother she is.