October 7, 2013

Good Night, Baby Cale

I have few stories to share that I need to write down before I forget the little details and the sweetness of them.

The first happened about a month ago. Miles had just gotten back from being in the field for several weeks and hadn't gotten much sleep while he was away. The morning after his first night back I got up with Finn and turned off the monitor so it wouldn't wake Miles. When Miles and I went to bed later that night, he passed out quickly, still exhausted from the field, but I stayed up to read. When I went to turn off my light I realized that I hadn't turned the monitor back on from earlier that morning. When I did I was surprised to see that Finn was up (it was after 11 at this point). He wasn't crying really, but he was standing in his crib saying "Mama pick e up" ('me' sounds like 'e') over and over. This wasn't like him so I quickly went into his room where he became a little more frantic "Mama pick e up! Pick e up! Mama hold." I stood at the crib and hugged him (him still standing in the crib) and I rubbed his back and said "You're ok, you're ok. Mama's here. Did you have a bad dream, are you scared?" to which he started to crawl into my arms saying "scared" while shaking his head. Poor little guy. So I picked him up and went to the rocker and he laid his head on my shoulder to "nuggle." We rocked for awhile and I could feel his body relax, though I knew he wasn't asleep. I was about to put him back in the crib when I looked up at Cale's sketch and just thought "no rush, stay where you are" and so I did. I continued to rock him, to comfort him, but really to love on both boys. It was just a sweet moment that I soaked up longer because of Cale. I'm thankful for his reminders to enjoy those moments a bit longer and a bit more fully. We rocked until I started to fall asleep myself and when I put Finn back down, he wasn't asleep, but was much more calm and content. I was too.

The other little story I wanted to share happened last night. We sit in the rocker and read a few books each night before going to bed - just a nice way to settle down for the evening and Finn will remind you each night that it's time to "read book" as he runs to his shelf to fetch a few. Finn's crib is next to the rocker on the wall opposite his dresser. Above his dresser is a framed sketch of Cale:

After we finished reading, I asked Finn to give me a hug and a kiss. I said "I love you" to which he replied "I loff you Mama" (it's the cutest thing, but my favorite was when he told me he loffed me the other week, totally unprompted - in fact it was out of the blue when he said it. . .swoon). Anyway, after we said "night, night and I loff you" I picked him up and he said "Mama nuggle" so I rocked him while standing in front of his crib about to put him down. Just as I went to put him in his crib I hear "good night, baby Cale." I pulled my head back and looked at him and just smiled, totally caught off guard. He was facing Cale's sketch while we were nuggling and I was facing the crib. He said it again, soft and sweet, "good night, baby Cale" so I said "yes, sweetheart - goodnight to baby Cale" and laid him down telling him how much I loved him.

I left the room and cried a few happy tears, thankful for such a sweet boy.

The same boy who tonight asked to "feel belly" while reading stories.

Sweet Finn - I don't know how we got so lucky to have you. But I'm forever thankful we do.


  1. What special moments.
    Keep snuggling that mama of yours, sweet sweet boy. Baby Cale loves you so both so <3

  2. Thank you for sharing such tender stories. Love them!

  3. Wow, Caroline. These stories seriously melted my heart. I love that boy of yours and I'm so thrilled he loves baby Cale. I can't even imagine how wonderful that must have felt.

    So happy you shared. xo

  4. I'm crying, that's totally normal, right?

    What a sweet little boy you have in Finn. And baby Cale. And baby Hidalgo.

  5. Tear-filled eyes here. What a sweet boy you have. So loved and so loving.

  6. Oh Finn .. That precious hand on your belly.
    What sweet stories. Thank you so much for sharing. I needed it.

  7. Sweet Finn, you know your mama so well and when she needs to hear your sweet words about your big brother! Caroline just means you're doing an amazing job honoring Cale and sharing him with Finn!
    Love this!

  8. Such a sweet boy. Love Finn <3

  9. Wow I'm bawling! What a doll! Can't wait to see him!!