February 3, 2015

Faces of Loss

A couple months after we lost Cale I heard about a website called Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope. It was fairly new and created by a woman named Kristin who lost her first child, Stevie, at 26 weeks. She turned Stevie's loss in to something really remarkable by creating this space for other bereaved parents. I posted Cale's story in October of 2010, which can be seen here, and found comfort in the (far too large) community I never wanted to be a part of. Through Faces of Loss, I read Brandy's story about the loss of her son Andrew, I read about Julius and became friends with Tiffany, and through the site, and various blogs, I started to "meet" more and more baby loss moms. Some of whom I was lucky enough to meet in person and have since become good friends with. They became my tribe. The people I turned to (and still do) when I need to just talk, vent, cry, and have someone who can say I'm sorry, and also, I understand. I get it. Me too.

Cheryl Strayed says it best in that "The healing power of even the most microscopic exchange with someone who knows in a flash precisely what you're talking about because she experienced the same thing too cannot be overestimated."

I cannot overestimate the importance of Faces of Loss in regards to my own grief and how grateful I am that Kristin created such a beautiful outlet for others to share their stories. I will never be fully healed, but there definitely is a great deal of healing power found within this community of bereaved families.

Over the years, Faces of Loss has published hundreds upon hundreds of stories of much wanted pregnancies and babies who are missed every single day, but sadly the site went dormant while the stories still poured in. Through the hard work of my friend Brandy (one of the very first friends I met through FOL), the website is out of its state of dormancy and active again. I'm working with the team who is editing and posting backlogged submissions and in the next few weeks we will be able to start posting new stories of loss which is absolutely the definition of brutiful. Because I wish we weren't posting so many stories and babies weren't dying and I wish pregnancies were thriving, but that's just not life, as much as I wish it were. Just last week I got a phone call about a local woman who was preparing to say goodbye to her first child. Life can be crazy beautiful, but it's also full of brutally heartbreaking stories, but as I said in Cale's Faces of Loss submission, these aren't just stories of loss, they are stories of love. I'm so glad there is a space where people can share their story and hopefully Faces of Loss can (once again) connect people who are searching for their tribe. 

If you are interested in sharing your baby(ies)'s story, please do so here. We would love to post it. You aren't alone.

Taken from my maternity pictures with Cale

The Faces of Loss Facebook Page can be found here.


  1. I was just over on Brandy's blog reading about this. I think it's wonderful of all of you to join this very valuable project. The reasons continue to multiply as to why I was draw to all of you when I was so fresh out of my loss.

    As much as it breaks my heart that so many stories continue to pour in, I think it's so good that a site like this exists. We need each other. Every BLM needs to hear "me too" rather than just "I'm sorry".


  2. You are beautiful. I love how you put it about being a story of love, above all else.

  3. Thank you! I just read Cheryl Strayed's Wild. She is really great.
    Lots of love to you and your whole family!

  4. I wish there was never a need, but since there is a big one, it's wonderful that there's such a community and that you're on the forefront of helping others now. God bless you and the work you're all doing. I can imagine how proud Cale is of his mama ❤️

  5. God bless you and Brandy! The hard work and time you all are putting into this will mean so much to all of the families with unpublished stories.

  6. PS-So proud to call you my friend.

  7. I had not heard about this and am going to check it out right now. What a necessary and incredibly helpful resource. Thank you!