December 29, 2013

Finn's Adjustment

While I was very apprehensive to talk to Finn too early on about the baby, I'm glad we did. He's definitely a child who does better when given warnings or a heads up as to what will happen next ("five more minutes and then we have to go bye-bye," "when we get home we will go potty," etc). He doesn't like to be caught off guard or to have his plans changed unexpectedly.

This also meant that in addition to talking about the new baby, I had to tell him it would be ok if mommy had a baby brother or a baby boy as he was so adamant I was having a girl and I didn't want him to be disappointed if there were no baby sister. I suspect he would have been ok with me having a boy, but his adjustment to life with baby sister has been wonderful . . . in regards to his relationship with, and views on, having a sister.

He loves to help with Mary (I swear he was being super gentle in the picture below though it looks as if he's pushing on her head). He loves to give her kisses, put her blanket on her, and frequently says, "wanna hold sister."

So we are very lucky and very happy that he has taken so well to having Mary around. But don't let these tender pictures fool you . . . Finn is adjusting (read acting out) in other ways. Today for example, Finn was in timeout before 9:00am. Twice. And then wet his pants on the way home from breakfast. His FOURTH accident since bringing Mary home. Our good little sleeper has been stalling as much as possible at bedtime, and as I type this is up chatting to snuggle monkey about God knows what. He doesn't listen well, throws fits over small things and normal things, like when he got his milk this morning, as he does every morning, but today he didn't get it fast enough or was offended that we made him say please first, whatever the case he lost it and threw his cup, thus resulting in one of his time outs.

I think he's gotten A LITTLE better (this morning aside), but we sure have gotten a taste for what they mean when they say "terrible twos." Hopefully this phase is short, and if he's going to have adjustment issues, I'd much prefer they be in the form of tantrums versus not liking his sister or acting aggressive or angry towards her. But man is it trying at times. It does make me savor the sweet moments. They may come in the form of a little boy who is asking to snuggle at bedtime (probably as a stalling tactic, but I'll take what I can get), or a brother who wants to read a book to his sister (never mind he can't read).

But seriously, I need to stare at this picture and take deep breaths when Finn is losing it. Or throwing his pillow out of his bed an hour and a half after his bed time (ahem, right now). Sigh. . .



  1. Awww, if it's any consolation to your very sleep deprived at the end of your rope self, your kids are ADORBS!!

  2. My friend's son completely regressed in potty training when his sister was born. He started having accidents because he wanted to be "the baby" and have attention. Finally she just sent him to daycare with no diapers and like eight changes of clothing. Suddenly he was uncomfortable enough to realize, I have to be a big boy. It's just such an epic adjustment when you get a sibling!

    As an older sibling, one thing I remember my parents doing that made SUCH a huge difference was giving me Mommy-Daughter and Daddy-Daughter dates. I would get an afternoon or evening of one-on-one time away from little sister, to see a movie or go to the park or something. Daddy-Daughter dates continued through high school! It always made me feel like I got enough individual attention to make up for the chaos at home.

  3. I love Finn. I know he's having some issues (but Benjamin has those issues without a little sister!) but you can't help but be so thankful for that sweet boy. <3

  4. The constant push and pull is so hard. Sounds he's wanting to assert his independence, too (we've been seeing it a lot with Ethan recently, especially when it comes to food tantrums about what he can/can't have or saying sorry to his brother after hitting happens). And I'm sure for you testing mama's patience doesn't help when mama's already so sleep-deprived :/ Hang in there, and what sweet moments those are to help keep you going!!!

  5. Sooo Sweet!! Such a good bubba!! But hate to break it to you! It's not terrible twos but terrible Threes!!! ;) xoxo

  6. I sat on my brother's head when he came home from the hospital. And we're friends today. I'd say you guys are doing a-ok!

    Not to make light of the difficulty -- I'm sure it is very challenging to juggle Finn's behavior/making sure he has enough attention while taking care of Mary. But I think probably everything he does is going to be normal until everyone gets used to the new world order.

    Also, not to make this about me, but those pictures of Finn with Mary? Pure inspiration to me right now.

  7. How did I miss this post?? I have been wondering how you all were doing. Oh wait, I had the plague... It is making sense now.

    Change is hard, even great change. He is such a lucky boy to have a loving, attentive Mama to help him through this adjustment.