August 13, 2012

And We're the Three Best Friends. . .

...that anyone could have, we're the three best friends that anyone could have. We're the three best friends that anyone could ever have and we'll never ever, ever, ever leave each other.  

So I went on another road trip. Shocking, I know. But last week Finn and I drove out to Oxford, Mississippi to spend some time with my three besties.

{rewind a little bit}

High school Caroline was not very good at test taking. Not doing too hot on the SATs and ACTs, she did not get accepted to a service academy during her senior year. (ok, enough of the third person) Anyway, I ended up going to Northwestern Preparatory School out on southern California after high school to help me increase my test scores and hopefully gain entrance to a service academy.

While there I met lots of great people, to include Deborah and Anna. My Dad says he remembers picking me up from school and saying that he figured I would stay in touch with some of my friends for a little bit, but as we went our separate ways, our friendships would fade. Well, Au contraire, mon Père. . . not only did we stay in touch, but we have become closer over the years. And now, ten years later, I am blessed with some of the most wonderful and supportive friends who I probably don't deserve.

Anna and Deb have never (thankfully) experienced the loss of a child. Anna doesn't even have kids yet, but somehow these two have been two of my biggest sources of support over the last two years. Anna was one of the few people I called when we were in the hospital getting ready to deliver Cale. I needed her to be the strong one and call Deb and tell her what happened. Deb was about 32 weeks pregnant at the time, yet she wanted to get in the car and drive seven hours to be there. And a couple months later, when she gave birth to her first child, she called soon after and told me I was the first person she called. We cried on the phone together - tears of joy for the safe arrival of her baby, tears of sadness for Cale and what should have been. I have shed a lot of tears over the years with these two gals and even more laughs. They have been patient and loving and understanding every step of the way. When I made my New Year's Resolutions this year - one of them was to be a better friend. I had Deborah and Anna in mind specifically for that one. Because in the haze of grief I haven't been as good as a friend - I haven't been as involved in their lives as I should have been and for awhile it was always them calling, texting, and checking in on me. They didn't give up on me and have been understanding of my grief even when I'm not. 

But really, I shouldn't be surprised. Because we have shared in each other's heartache, sharing our joy has been that much sweeter. Be it college dissappointments or breakups, bar crawls or club dancing, job opportunities and promotions, weddings and babies - you name it, we have been there for each other. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

This past weekend Anna was planning to fly in to see Deb. I decided that I needed to be there too. I owe it to them to be more involved and make more effort. Anna knew I was coming, but we didn't tell Deb.  Her reaction when she walked in and saw me in her living room was priceless:

We just had the best weekend (as we always do), and I am so glad I not only have such great friends, but that we got to spend some time together. As I was driving Anna back to the airport she was on the phone with Deb and said something very sweet - "whenever we are all three together, it will always be a real treat."

And it really was.  Love you girls.

 Finn: If you don't hurry up with these pics, I'm gonna shake my fist some more
Little Vinnie: If you don't hurry up, I'm going to use my fist.
Bryars: I'm just going to continue to have a meltdown. Your move mom.

 Someday this will be inappropriate and not-so-cute. Today is not that day.



  1. Thankful for your supportive friends. And the pictures are too cute!

  2. so sweet. love the pics (especially the captions)

  3. Hi hun, thanks so much for stopping by my blog. I remember reading your story on faces of loss, faces of hope quite early in my loss as I was desperately searching for stories similar to mine...cord accident or full term or neonatal death. Anything really so I felt less alone. At the time I didn't feel strong enough to reach out to many others, but I am glad that you've messaged me and I've revisited your story.

    I'm glad to know that things get a bit lighter in a way once a rainbow is born. I'm glad that your Finley is with you safe and sound, but sad that Cale will never know him.

    Sending you love,

  4. It's such a blessing to have such amazing friends. What a great weekend! Love the pictures!

  5. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend to me and Deb, Caroline! We had the best time this weekend and I will always remember it!