So I think we've come to an understanding that you can be doing what you want to be doing, but some days it's the last thing you want to be doing.
The thing is, for now, this is what I want to be doing. I kinda always knew that too. I had dreams of having my own family ever since I was a little girl and always knew I wanted to be a mom. But I also know that at some point, I will want more. But today, and for the next few years I hope, this is what I want.
It's just that there are days when you tell your two year old he can't have coffee in the morning* (or ya know, ever) and he loses it:
*Finn has never tasted coffee. But Dadda drinks it, so we all should.
Or you tell him that Nana can't come over for dinner because she lives in Arizona and he pleads with you to fix that and fix it now:
But the great thing about toddlers is there are the other moments too. The ones where you realize your job is also to hang out with a little boy who sometimes doesn't want to swim anymore and would rather be wrapped in a towel and have "Mama hold"
Or your job is to hold out the hose so both the boys can grab a drink:
And to be the hand he reaches for when he gets out of the car:
And my job right now is to let him know early on how special he is and enjoy watching him grow. And I am - so very much. Sure I need a break every once in awhile (a trip to Target without Finn is a little bit of Heaven on earth), but for now I'm glad this is what I get to do, even when it's not always what I want.
Besides, it could be worse. Miles is away for a little bit doing training that includes sleeping outside and not showering for the next couple weeks. But hey, we're all just living the dream: