August 17, 2013

Living the Dream

My sister-in-law and I are both stay at home moms and Miles and his brother like to give us a hard time when we've had a long day or the kids are driving us crazy by making some sarcastic comment about how we chose to stay home with the little bi-polar terrorists boys, so we shouldn't complain because we are "living the dream." Obviously this does no good other than make me want to punch them both in the face. I've noticed though, that Miles doesn't really say things like that anymore once I started doing the same to him after he'd come home from a 14 hour day at work or a hot week in the field. I'd just smile and say, "but you wanted to be in the Army hun, you're living the dream!"

So I think we've come to an understanding that you can be doing what you want to be doing, but some days it's the last thing you want to be doing.

The thing is, for now, this is what I want to be doing. I kinda always knew that too. I had dreams of having my own family ever since I was a little girl and always knew I wanted to be a mom. But I also know that at some point, I will want more. But today, and for the next few years I hope, this is what I want.

It's just that there are days when you tell your two year old he can't have coffee in the morning* (or ya know, ever) and he loses it:

*Finn has never tasted coffee. But Dadda drinks it, so we all should.

Or you tell him he can't drive home from the water park, so he decides he'll just scream the whole way home instead:

Or you tell him that Nana can't come over for dinner because she lives in Arizona and he pleads with you to fix that and fix it now:

There are just moments, and some times the better part of entire days, where Finn isn't a cute little boy, but rather a not-so-distant cousin of Sybil.

But the great thing about toddlers is there are the other moments too. The ones where you realize your job is also to hang out with a little boy who sometimes doesn't want to swim anymore and would rather be wrapped in a towel and have "Mama hold"

Or your job is to hold out the hose so both the boys can grab a drink:

And to be the hand he reaches for when he gets out of the car:

And my job right now is to let him know early on how special he is and enjoy watching him grow. And I am - so very much. Sure I need a break every once in awhile (a trip to Target without Finn is a little bit of Heaven on earth), but for now I'm glad this is what I get to do, even when it's not always what I want.

Besides, it could be worse. Miles is away for a little bit doing training that includes sleeping outside and not showering for the next couple weeks. But hey, we're all just living the dream:



  1. I love this post. I couldn't agree more. We are all living the dream, it doesn't mean each day is easy! I have guilt from that because I begged so hard just to have a living child that when it is not a "living the dream"sorta day I feel guilty. Like I should appreciate it more.

    And then I watch her crawl across the room faster than before or learn a new word and that guilt passes.

    I would have a cry if I could not drink coffee, too, Finn.

  2. You spoke it, my friend. All of the words I would've written, but you were more grateful. I need to be more grateful. Because, after all, my job is to hang out with the most curious (and mischievous) and amazing little person I've ever seen walk the earth.

    I'd say that's living the dream. But hey, one little complaint. Can I live it somewhere else... with cool BLM friends or at least a relative or two. ;)

    But like you said, at least I have a nice house and can sleep inside and eat whatever food I want (if the little person lets me make it). But then again, there's always takeout.

  3. Exactly! Staying at home with these kiddos is living the dream, but some days you've just had "too much of a good thing," so to speak! There are days when Arthur comes home and I'm not showered and our house is a wreck, no dinner is made (or even thought of), and you can tell he wonders what I've been doing all day. Within an hour, he's gotten a taste of what these girls have been dishing out all day...lots of attitude, crying, clinginess, etc. and he understands a bit more by then!

    Isn't this staying home thing pretty great though? Ridiculously hard sometimes. But great.

  4. Love this post! I don't even have a toddler yet but yes, a solo trip to Target would be heaven (I haven't had one of those since before Elizabeth was born). I told Greg on Saturday that getting to do the dishes without having a curious little person poking around at anything and everything in the kitchen/dishwasher felt like a luxury! Even though I have brief moments when I wonder why I gave up my awesome job for this, I know that this is the right decision and I am so grateful that it is even possible.

  5. Oh you are so right in this! Even dreams aren't perfect, or even fun sometimes!