So, let me tell you about my day.
It started off as most days do in that we were running late. Finn's class was decorating gingerbread houses today and invited all the parents. So I didn't even have to pack his lunch as it would be provided, and yet I still couldn't get out the door on time. Part of our delay was due to the sippy cup I found stashed in the cabinet we keep the water bottles and as I opened it pleading, "please be water, please be water" I discovered that it was not water, but rather milk. Chunky, curdling, milk. I literally was gagging putting in the sink (to deal with later), and thinking I should have just thrown it away. Because we were already late, Mary left the house in her jammies and we headed to drop Finn off at school. Afterwards, I went to the park to workout (and change Mary in to some normal clothes) allowing just a smidge of time between my workout and when I would need to be back at school for Finn's party. That smidge of time did not allow for me to go home and shower, but hey, that's what deodorants for, right?
When I get to Finn's school (on time! with the juice boxes I signed up to bring!) I was the only parent who brought another child, and probably the only who who hadn't showered. I don't think the workout clothes gave off the "active" mom vibe, but more of a "hot mess" vibe. Whatever.
After a story they had lunch which was pizza and my child couldn't be bothered to eat all of his, so I ate the rest - again, probably the only one who ate their kids' leftovers, but in his defense it wasn't that great and I realized that it was from Whole Foods and therefore probably a gluten and dairy free pizza or something.
Then it was time to decorate gingerbread houses and here's what I've discovered - teachers wait to do this activity on the last day of school so they can invite the parents for some "holiday fun" but really, I think the teachers know that it's a total pain in the ass and we are just going to up the dollar amount on the Starbucks gift cards we gift them because they are the ones who have to do these crafts every week with the kids - and not just your kid, but all the other little messy, snotty, germ factory kids who are in the same class.
I only had to worry about helping Finn decorate his house, and it made me want to day drink. Mary was losing her mind in ergo, but also would not let me put her down. I tried nursing her, but she wasn't interested, so while Finn was making what was undoubtedly the ugliest gingerbread house, I was psychotically rocking Mary back and forth telling Finn, "sure" when he asked if he could eat his 80th gummy bear. The little girl across from Finn had both mommy and daddy there to help - daddy even put shingles on the roof of her gingerbread house - shingles! And her mom made sure she didn't get frosting on her adorable smocked Christmas dress with matching bow. Finn had frosting on his pants, hands, cheeks, and hair. Then there were the families taking pictures that I'm sure will get hashtaged at least three times with something horribly obnoxious and borderline pretentious like #soblessed or #ilovechristmas.
As we left (all the while Mary was screaming) another mom handed me a cute, Pinteresty, Christmas goody from her son - making me want to shout, "oh, come on!" but instead I smiled and thanked her and hustled out as fast as I could. I have no clue when she had the time to make them, but I'm willing to bet she won't go home to a curdled milk sippy cup in her sink. When we got to the car I had to wrestle Mary in to her carseat - that little meatball is strong! And I told Finn he could have the candy cane he shoved into his pocket before leaving.
Now we are home and the kids are napping and I'm thinking I should address the sippy cup situation, or maybe even shower, but will probably just eat some ugly gingerbread house instead.